For Albus

It’s qute sad. I rather liked that old man, but alas, the sixth book had to end with his funeral. I’d be a lot happier if he was one of the people who’d have survived.

I’m not sure if hogwarts would be the same without him, not that I know if hogworts would be opening again, since I’ve decided that I’d write this first before continuing to read the next book. The last book. The one with more dead people.

I was crying when the certainty of his death was… yeah.

He was really really one of my most favorite charaters. And I slash serverus snape off of that list. I’ll add Half-blood Prince, though.

It’s depressing. Extremely so.

I thought the prince was voldemort.

Still, the death of Dumbledore. ;….;

Its time to DANCE

Ew, troll booger.

XD I over react too mcuh. Like I said, stupid teenage emotions.

I’m a happy camper again.

*will now sing spongebobsquarepants theme*

I really lik harry potter. I wanna be a writter too. Bitch.

Our dog’s pregnant.

My awful life that i love

I haven’t been up dating much.

I should have been, but things got a little fucked up.

Let me tell you all the major things that happened.

1. I finished cookie and epitomy of hatred commented. Someother person commented, but that person has nothing to do with this.

2. prom

3. end of school.

4. summer

5. Epitomy Of Hatred. He happened. He was great. He was amazing. He was awesome.

5.5. told faye and iris. some family members know.

6. Little fucked up missunderstanding because I sent out wrong signals. I was having trouble with new feeligns.

7. everything gets a little better.

8. I realize that I might love him.

9. I told my self that I do.

10. Wanted honesty.

11. Asked a question that would test trust.

12. Everything exploded. I’m giving my self until tommorow to post the journal entry that I made today.

I’m blocking out the depression. Thank You MRC.

Great for blocking feelings.

I’m speculating. Thinking that he might have just used me for some fun. to cover a hole that his ex left behind. a temporary play thing.

That’s the problem with SICHI. She’s me. Raw. All me. All I am. The real me. My exposure.

I was doing great, and I’ll stilld o great. Nothing’s changed.

I still have screen shots of those messages that say that he loves me, and the one where he told me he really liked me.

These teenage feelings suck.

Mis Labc

Means my life in german.

Havn’t been updating. getting lazy. tests. finals tommorow. suzks major rat ass.

:|

don’t like temperture these past moths. cold. hot.coldhotcoldhot. no control. no stability.

begining to think the universe in ‘thegiver’ is better. everythings okay. no hastle. just do your thing. no fear of death.

Like, I freakin’ won.

So, today, was the actual language fest day. And they annoumced the winners in the contests.

and guess what?

after all these events, we never really won anything… at all.

but now…

We had 2 1st places, and 2 third places.

dude. like. whoa.

And I won that other first place. Short story. Ye.

Ye.

YE!

:D

Fucked up Peice of Shit

I hate my life. I hate it all. I HATE.

FUCK.

So, the other day, my dear father refused to give me moneys. shallow, I know. So, like, yes.

And the story of my life goes on.

I hate him.

have I metioned that? I hate him.

Today, is the day… yeah. Language fest, The closest we have to a “fair” other than the “Math Fair.” Awesome.

Fuckin ‘A.

I <3 Euro Trip.

Need more books.

Need Cracking.

Fuck.

So, how long has it been?

It’s been more than a week, hasn’t it? T.T

Great.

Laughing my ass off right now. I just had a look at Uno’s first blog entries. Umasenso ng super.

Si Manx. LMAO.

So, anyway, the past week has been very uneventful. That’s the not-so-awesome part of vacation. The not-eventfull-ness.

I had, at least gotten some moneys.

Oh, abd btw, Pishie died.

Dunno why, but he did. Sucks.

:(

So, anyway, it seems that our trip to Baluto this new year may not go through. I really wanna see my cousin. She owes me an MP4.

:( I also wanna permanently borrow her ipod vid.

*shrug* how much is that really cheap/fake mp4 again? the one with the camera? 1.7K. right. Four hunread more.

Moving on…

BJDs. Dude. They’re worth my tuition money. :O

Still want one. Or two.

:3

*shrug* My strage little noggin’s been brewing up ideas about that shit. I write essays, send them to Reader’s Digest… Win some sort of award, with prizemoneys–20K? 1M? in $? Makes me happy thinking about that.

But it’s not very… possible.

*shrug*

I shall get a fighting fish as soon as I can. Like, some time just before classes start again.

Oh, it’s chrismas already?

So I haven’t been updating for a while. there’s a perfectly good reason for that. I had nothing much to say. and my computer was shitting.

Right now, I’m in sta.rita, pampanga. In my step-mother’s house. We’re spending the night here, then we’re going god knows where.

 So the thing I’m most glad about right now, is my new red black molly fish. He/she once had a black black molly companion but he jumped out of the very tiny bowl I bought and died.

I hope someone feeds him while I’m gone. If not… duuuuuuuuude. If he dies, I’ve decided, that I’ll just buy a fighting fish. They don’t seem to need much.

So, I’ve also developed a liking towards Ball-joint Dolls. They’re really awesome. But also very exxpensive. Dunno how I’m gonna get my hands on one.

I’ve had some advise from a filipina ball-joint doll owner, but she said it’s reaaaaaaaaaaally expensive. and I should research more. Which I will.

I already checked Obitsu and Volks Dolfie. SD’s are like, woah expensive. Obitsus, not so, but I don’t know if they export.

If they do, and also if the prices there are the kind I’d be getting here, then I’ll need around 10k+ pesos to get a really cool bjd.

So being the very poor girl that I am. That sucks, and it’ll take me a little more than a decade to get a BJD.

Fat chance i’d get one this chrismas.

I shall disect him. Like a fucking frog.

I hate my brothers. Specially arman. He should die a very very terrible death.

He doesn’t respect me–or anyone else for that matter. And it sucks that my dad doesn’t care much. I hate him.

I want to fucking kill him.

DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE.

DIE.

>:@

So, on to brighter news.

this past week, there has been minimal learning. due to extended and *note sarcasm* gravely important practice sessions for the presentation for feu moraita.

Fuck that.

My editor in cheif (for school news paper) told me that my articles are due friday. which is today. I have two that I have to write. And I never knew that I was supposed to write for that other one.

I have this old composition (not that old), that I wrote to vent. I still had a copy with me (I printed out tons of it.) and I had nothing to do, so I let my adviser read it. And then after she did she was like, crying! :O Then she hugged me and told me that life is beautiful and that I shouldn’t care what the asses in my life tell me.

:D she’s awesome.

Like SHIT.

So today…

I woke up, initially at 4 am. I kinda asked my brother to wake me up so I can go back to sleep and wake up again in a few more hours.

I was going to the UPCAT review thing.

Which apperently was canceled.

LIKE SHIT.

I could have come with my gramma to cavite. We were going to go swimming in Rio.

Now, I bet if I like swiming in a resort… with lots of people, I would have decided to go rather than attend the UPCAT review. But I don’t. I do not like swiming in public. :C

And I knew there’d be food… but The horror of swiming–being very wet–in public out wheighed the prospect of eating good food.

And I didn’t have anymore clean and descent clothes to take there. I need more clothes.

Preferably old cotton shirts, comfy shorts, sports bras, sandos, and panties. )

Oh, and I need a new Chuck Talor, my old one’s kinda wasted.

Damn, I’m poor.

So anyway, other than today, yesterday was SHIT aswell.

Ces and Di cancelled on me. We were supposed to watch twilight. :O

Very, very stupid.

Today–I had to prepare for the up comming UPCAT review with my former math teachers. I had a failing grade in filipino, so I didn’t know if my dad would still let me come, and when I asked him.

He game me a fucked up answer.

He asked me what I thought of myself. If I should go.

At times like that I remember why I plan on forgetting him when I become rich. Him and the rest of my family (exept my gramma.)

Like. Yeah.

So. the other day–tuesday. (it’s thursday right now) I gave the letter thingy to my dad. The one that says the thing about my stupid grades.

So the thing is, I didn’t cry this time–because I ussually do. I guess that because they all expect me to fail, I’m expecting the same thing too. Subconsiously.

That sucks.

Now, the only thing is, I’m not allowed to use the computer as often and long as I want.

Which is just fine. Because I don’t really do anything anyway, and I can get my reading supply from the library. And there’s TV.

And I can sneak out.

SHHH. Don’t tell my dad.

So, like, yesterday, I decided to read a chapter of Noli Me Tangere. So I won’t have trouble with the upcomming quiz about it. But there’s no filipino class today. all that for nothing.

Well, anyway, today I decided to check out peter answers. I discovered it’s secret. Fuck it. When I figure out the codes they used to make that website, I am so going to make my own.

So, other than that, I discovered that Clligraphy is easy. If you’ve spent most of your life good at those kinds of things. Which is how I spent mine. Ang kapal ko.

Other than that…

Yeah, I sneaked out. I just gotta get home before they do. Which is at nine.

And I’m planning on replacing my Filipino, and Soc.Stud notebooks. It’s a good thing I have notebooks with hard covers I can recycle.

:D

oh, and I re-read my fanfiction.net entries. I had a new review.

Dei Gratia. By The Grace Of God.

Let’s start off with some good news, shall we?

I finished RAD-ISH DUDE. He’s not a boy, he’s not a man, he’s…

Rad-ish Dude.

http://fc06.deviantart.com/fs39/f/2008/322/1/6/Rad_ish_Dude_by_SorryICantHelpIt.gif

Ye.

Although some person commented that he’s ugly or something.

Now, for the not so good news.

I ate all my chocolate, and now, there nothing left of it.

It’s kinda sad.

Now for the really bad news.

The Letter came today. The one about my grade in filipino. I got a seventy.

I just don’t like the fucking subject.

At least it’s not a major subject, right?

I have to tell my dad. Later. Or maybe tomorrow morning.

Fuck it.

What in the seven layers of hell was that?!

So yesterday, when I came home from my grandmother’s place (That’s kinda where my computer is.), the first thing that catches my attention is the box of pizza on the table.

Being the poor person that I am, this exited me.

But unfortunately, I can’t just gorge myself with the pizza—I have to ask permission to eat it. That’s right. I have to ask permission to eat food in my house.

I tried asking my brother (although I know it isn’t his, and asking him would bring notice to my embarrassing lack of authority) but he said I had to ask my stepmother. And then, before I left, he suddenly told me; “Ipapasok ka ni Daddy sa ano…”

Where? In a fucking closet?

I paid no heed to his –shifty eyes- warning. Instead I focused on getting my hands on that pizza.

Which I eventually did.

I have no recollection of the other events, but I know that the thing happened when I was on my bed, watching TV.

My dad stood at the door and told me that I’ll be attending the UPCAT review thing.

I don’t remember his exact words, but I could have sworn that he said something about reporting to my reviewer.

That was what my little brother told me about.

The UPCAT tutorial never even crossed my mind.

(BTW, the upcat tutorial thing is a review center thingy one of my former –and beloved- teacher picked me for. Only seventeen of us—in our batch—were chosen, most of them known to be smart, cunning, whatever. The top ten’s in, and some other kids who were formerly top students in the past. It think there’re only two of us who were chosen who isn’t known to be smart. Me, and Mhikko.

It’s kinda flattering that I was chosen along with Jerom and Khey—I don’t really like her much, btw. I don’t like esther either. They’re not supposed to see this post. T.T)

The UPCAT review was over for me, it’s too late, I won’t be able to catch up. And I know that nobody believes in me enough to let me go through with it.

Only T.Talent does. Or at least he’s acting as if he does.

And now he tells me that I’ll be joining?!

He’s an ass.

I was over it—and I told myself that I’ll just be shitting myself joining it, and he tells me that he’s decided to let me join? NOW?!

He’s an ASS.

Great. Now I have to wake up early every Saturday. Then god knows how the hell I’m going to get to the review center.

HE. IS. AN. ASS.

Braccae tuae aperiuntur. Yer Fly is OPEN.

I probably failed filipino.

No.

I know I failed filipino.

It’s honestly one of the subjects I hate the most. Even before FEU.

God. I’m not much of a nationalist, am I?

I grew up watching cartoons in english, movies in english, and I even read in english, mostly. My mother wanted me to speak english well. I think the quality of my english deminished through out the years away from other filipinos who spoke good english. It started when I went to FEU and started talking to Koreans (no offense.)

I find that my speach patters are easily influenced. So to attain good english, I must speak or be around people who speak good english.

I could speak to our teachers but they don’t speak good english either.

No, really.

They don’t.

So how in the seven layers of hades will I be able to get good english?

Go abroad. To Engalnd.

Nah.

So how did my failing in filipino lead to a discussion about the quality of english I speak?

Whatever.

So due to my desire to speak better english, I have neglected to study my own tongue. And I do not regret it.

I mean seriously, I speak tagalog everyday of my fucking life. What more do you want from me?!

Although I think I failed due to my lazyness and not my prefferance of the english language over my own.

Neutiquam erro. I am NOT lost.

So now, I have Jane Eyre and The Classic Fairy Tales out. And I just remembered that I forgot to renew Jane Eyre. Shit.

I’m in Chapter six. And that’s one-sixth of the book.

The Fairy Tale book, I found by the teacher’s section of the library. It’s one of the really old books. It has a study about the stories in it, and some history about the stories and the authors.

It’s so effin’ cool.

*sigh* only fairy tales can make me this exited. Great. I maturing.

Well, anyway—there’s no Wuthering Heights in our library. Which just sucks.

I’ll have to go buy it. Great, another Three-hundred bucks down the drain.

Yesterday, while I was spending quality time with our toilet, I over heard my little brother ratting out on me.

That little bastard.

XP

Fac ut vivas. Get a Life.

The Disney Channel, like Gatorade, is a LIE!

Like most people my age, I grew up in front of a TV.

Growing up, I found myself doing other things. It’s sad, but it’s probably a part of the whole ‘adolescence’ thing. The weird thing is, I act a hell of a lot more childish now, than I did then. I miss those times when I can run around naked, and instead of people assuming that I’d taken some form of illegal drug, they’d just shrug and say that I ate a liiiiitle too much sugar. Actually, I drink sugar.

Sugar is Love.

Now, everyone knows, that learning is part of growing up. And you can’t control what you learn.

For example; I learned that Disney lies.